


Room for Feelings

by Gravytrain101



Series: Spenser For Hire Oneshots [1]
Category: Spenser: For Hire
Genre: Caring Hawk, Crying, Exhaustion, Fire, M/M, Murder, Tired Spenser, Worried Hawk, sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27379339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gravytrain101/pseuds/Gravytrain101
Summary: Hawk learns that Spenser ran into the burning building to save a firefighter that was trapped... instead of letting the other firefighters do it. He doesn't understand why his boyfriend did what he did but he will be there to help him in the aftermath of his actions anyway. He tries to get Spenser to take a well-needed nap but Spenser gets pulled away before that can happen. Hawk finally gets Spenser to go to sleep after they talk about his hectic day.Or, it's a different take on "No Room at the Inn" (Season 1, Episode 2).
Relationships: Hawk/Spenser (Spenser)
Series: Spenser For Hire Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000050
Kudos: 1





	Room for Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Spenser For Hire work. I was watching the second episode of season one (No Room at the Inn) and came up with this idea. Please read and enjoy!

Hawk’s POV:  
“You ran into a burning building?” I asked as soon as I got Spenser’s door open. 

“Nice to see you, Hawk,” he responded as he sat down on the couch. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” I said before I repeated myself, “You ran into a burning building?” 

“Yes, I did,” he sighed as he loosened his tie, “Did you come over here to yell at me about it?” 

“Why?” I asked as I cleared stuff off his coffee table to sit across from him. 

“Someone needed help,” he shrugged as he looked down at his hands. 

“You couldn’t let the firefighters go in? They had the equipment and gear on, you didn’t,” I pointed out, “You could’ve gotten hurt!” 

“Look, I heard the firefighter telling his boss that he was going to check out the first floor. He wasn’t in long enough before the fire got worse to have gone too far into the building. I knew he was close to the entrance,” he explained as he looked up at me, “I knew the risks Hawk.” 

“But you didn’t think about yourself babe,” I said, trying to reason with him, “You always put yourself before others. It’s okay to put yourself first.” 

“I know,” he mumbled as he yawned into his hand, “I’m sorry.” 

“Have you slept since last night?” I asked as I cupped his cheek with my hand. 

“Not much, maybe an hour or two,” he shrugged as he leaned into my touch. 

“You need to sleep,” I said as I stood and helped him lay down on the couch. 

“Can’t,” he responded as he tried to get back up. 

“Why not babe?” I asked as I gently pushed him back down and covered him up with a blanket. 

“Have to work,” he answered as I sat on the table again. 

“You have 2 hours before you have to go to work, yes?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he started. 

“Then you can get at least an hour's rest,” I interrupted before I started to run my fingers through his hair, trying to help him sleep. 

We didn’t stay like that for long because sirens and screeching tires disrupted our moment. 

“What now?” Spenser whined as he got up and looked out the window. 

“Spenser!” the fire chief yelled once he saw him in the window, “Come here! I’ve got something to show you!” 

“Great,” he sighed as he turned around to head towards the door. 

“Where are you going?” I asked as I grabbed his arm. 

“Downstairs,” he answered as he got out of my grip and walked towards the door. 

“You need to rest babe,” I said. 

“I will when I get back Hawk, I promise,” he told me before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. 

\-----Later That Night (Case is Solved)-----  
Hawk’s POV:   
“Spenser?” I asked as I walked into the living room to find him staring out the window. 

“Yeah?” he answered, not even turning to look at me. 

“Are you alright?” I asked as I gently turned him around and saw tear streaks on his face. 

“I’m fine,” he sighed as he looked down at his feet. 

“You’ve been crying,” I said as I tilted his head back up to look me in the eyes, “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” he said as he wiped his face with his sleeve. 

“Is it about the case you solved today?” I asked. 

“How would you know anything about that?” he asked as he made his way to our bedroom, “I didn’t tell you how it ended.” 

“I looked into it myself. I knew there might be a possibility that you would have to kill a woman. You weren’t happy about it from the beginning so I wanted to know if you had to so I could help,” I explained as I sat with him on our bed. 

“Yes! Okay? I killed her,” he exclaimed, “Is that what you wanted to hear?” 

“Why is this kill different from the others?” I asked as gently as I could, not wanting to cause him more pain. 

“This was the first woman I killed Hawk. Every kill always hurts but this one hurt more than the few before it. It reminded me of my first kill,” he explained, “I don’t like feeling like this.” 

“It’s a reasonable reaction,” I told him as I put my arm around him. 

“I thought you said there’s no room for feelings when it comes to stuff like this?” he asked as he looked up at me. 

“An exception can be made for instances like this babe,” I answered as I wiped away the tears from his face. 

Once he knew I wouldn’t think any less of him for feeling this way he let the dam break. The tears came out, tremors in the body, tight hugs, all of it. I just held him and rocked him while whispering comforting things in his ear. 

He’s the sensitive one out of the two of us but it normally doesn’t hit him this hard. I’m glad he’s letting it out rather than bottling it up though. 

I continued to hold him and comfort him until he stopped crying. I tried to coax him out of my arms to lay down on the bed, but I received no response. I didn’t realize that he had passed out in my arms. It must’ve been a combination of the fire he ran into (which he shouldn’t have done in the first place) and his feelings towards the outcome of his case. I carefully undressed him and laid him down in bed before I joined him for the night.

**Author's Note:**

> I do plan on writing more for this fandom (I'm surprised there's barley any fics for this fandom, especially this pairing). If you have any suggestions or ideas for potential stories let me know! 
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think down below! Thank you for reading.


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